NicoBs Adventure to Dream Island
by Vixen7117
Summary: Nico enters the land of voices in order to find the mysterious dream island. Join Nico and his crew in an adventure full of comedy, injokes, and bagels.
1. The beginning of a hilarious adventure

A/N well it's time to embrace my picky penguin side. I owe Nico this much since he's so nice and always making me laugh. Thank you coden Lynx for encouraging me to do this and thank you Nico for introducing me to danganronpa, your kind nature, and for giving me countless smiles and laughter. Enjoy.

...

In a dark abyss Nico finds himself on a stained glass window with a fox on it. A disembodied voice speaks to Nico.

Voice that sounds like aqua: So much to do,...so little time... Take your time. Don't be afraid.

Nico: Am I in a kingdom hearts game?

Aqua voice: kind of. Anyway power sleeps with in you so give it form or whatever.

Nico: no, you are quoting kingdom hearts.

(Three pillars rise. The first holds a salty cracker, second holds a cinnamon bun, and the third holds a blue berry muffin)

Aqua voice: choose well.

(Nico eats both the blue berry muffin and the cinnamon bun)

Nico: mmh delicious.

Aqua voice: No you're only supposed to pick one!

Nico: but they're so yummy in my tummy.

Aqua voice: That's it! I was going to do a whole tutorial you know and give you a keyblade, but no you are just going to have to do this without it.

Nico: no, please give me ultimate demon keyblade powers, please!

Aqua voice: Nope, consider this a lesson in skipping dialogue.

(The glass breaks causing Nico to fall into the DARKNESS!)

...

Location: meadow

Komaeda(nudging a sleeping nicob): Hey wake up you silly nugget.

Nico(mumbling in his sleep): ah... no..kingdom hearts 3...come to me.

Bernie(getting up and shaking): Nico wake up.

(Bernie starts to lick nicos face until he wakes up. The moment he sees komaeda he rightfully punches him in the face, picks up Bernie and runs for it.

Bernie: slow down... I'm going to toot.

Nico(putting Bernie down): sorry Bernie...wait, since when could you talk on your own.

Bernie: I don't know

Nico: considering I saw komaeda and you're talking, I must be in another fanfic.

Bernie: what's that?

Nico: a magical thing that can allow people to write whatever they want. No matter how disturbing it could potentially be.

Bernie: could they write in a stick?

Nico: I don't think-

(A stick drops from the sky.)

Bernie(taking stick and starting to chew): I love it here.

Nico: but where is here? Knowing my game track record it's probably Japan or, more specifically, some place close to shibuya.

Bernie: or shin-ju-ku.

Nico( suddenly having flash backs to a time he thought his ears were bleeding) no midori.

Bernie: hey, what's that over there?

(Nico looked to see a big coastal town straight out of a pirates of the Caribbean movie.)

Nico: Bernie, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Bernie: but don't we live-

Nico: we can't let the picky penguins know where we live.

Bernie: oh, right. Sorry.

Nico: that was close. Anyway let's go check the town.

...

(In the town, Nico sees a few familiar faces walking around)

Nico: wow there sure are a lot of familiar faces here. Oh look it's-.

Maya: it's maya.

Bernie: wait a minute. Why does her voice sound like mine.

Maya: oh, that's because Nico uses my voice for all sorts of cute little animals.

Bernie: what?!

Nico: I guess you were going to find out eventually, but come on you're both such cute little goobers. Anyways, Maya do you know why I'm here?

Maya: nope, but I do know someone who can help you.

Nico: alright, lead the way.

Maya: hey Bernie, do you like cheeseburgers.

Bernie: I would if Nico gave me some!

Nico: Bernie, you can't eat people food.

Bernie: dang it!

...

(Nico and Bernie follow maya to a fancy pub called "the moonless night". Inside the pub the decor is styled after coffee. Maya leads Nico and Bernie to a booth seat in the corner. There sits Gato in all his demon glory, finishing off a gallon of crack coffee)

Gato(smashing the cup down): Another.

(Moshirige runs to the table and takes gatos cup away)

Maya: Hey Gato, I found Nico and he needs your wisdom.

Gato: I see. Very well then, hold your asses cause I'm about to lay down some demon wisdom.

Bernie: but we don't have any donkeys.

Gato(starts monologuing): A long time ago in a galaxy far far away.

Maya: wrong monologue.

Gato: sorry. (Coughs) The year was 2012, back then our world was just a tiny piece of dust, but slowly and surely this dust grew and developed. Caverns, forest, and meadows rose with the coming of spring. It was a simple world with a few glitches here and there. Over time, the world began to fill with life. All sorts of weirdos from all sorts of games populated the land. It has been over five years and now the world has become more complex and intricate with all sorts of one shots and running jokes. And that is how the world of voices came to be.

Nico: okay, but how do me and Bernie get home?

Maya: you just need to find the island of dreams.

Bernie: I can do that. I sleep all the time.

Maya: No, it's an island where any dream can come true. That means...

Nico: I can fulfill my dream of becoming the ultimate kingdom hearts trash!

Maya: that's not what I was going to suggest, but okay.

Nico: alright when do we go.

Godot: hold your horses. No one knows where dream island is. The only way to find it is to collect three pieces of an ultra rare map. Of which I only have one.

Nico: then we can find the other two. Where do we look though?

Maya: I don't know.

(Moshirige comes back with another gallon of coffee. While moshirige struggles to hold the gallon, Gato takes it from him with ease. Gato takes a sip only to immediately spit the steaming hot coffee into moshireges face)

Moshirege(screaming): Ahhhhhh?

Gato: Are you trying to poison me, Gato the sexiest motherfucker alive?

Moshirige: No, I just put cream and sugar ca-

(Gato uses his lasers to blast moshirige clean through the ceiling and to who knows where. Afterwards, everyone looked at Gato.)

Gato: what? The bitch had it coming.

Maya: what about the ceiling?

Gato: I'll fix it when I feel like it. Now I'm going to make an actual coffee. Like my mother told me: if you want coffee done right, make it yourself.

Nico: that's...oddly specific.

Gato (while leaving for the kitchen): I don't question your life sayings, so don't question mine.

Nico: okay. So, where should we look for the map pieces?

(Right on cue, Komaeda appears behind Nico)

Komaeda: did somebody say map pieces?

Nico: ahhhhhhhh! Demon! Save me Bernie!

Bernie: I'll save you Nico! Oh, a bagel!

Komaeda: aw what an adorable puppy.

Nico: stay away from her!

Maya: Oh my God! The yaoi possibilities.

Nico: Bad maya!

Maya: Doh, foiled.

Nico: what do you want komaeda?

Komaeda: I heard you need two map pieces and I just so happen to have them.

Nico: of course you would. How did you get them? No, wait, you probably got them through some overly complicated and nearly impossible coincidence.

Komaeda: no, I just found them on the ground where you were lying unconscious.

Nico: creepy, but okay. Are you going to hand them over?

Komaeda: yes, on the condition that I get to tag along.

Nico: hell no!

Bernie: come on Nico, we need to get to dream island. Plus, he's got bagels.

Nico: damn it, fine you can come, but keep the bullshit to a minimum.

Komaeda: aye aye captain.

Gato: I'm back. What did I miss?

Nico: we found the map pieces.

Gato: sounds like bullshit to me.

Komaeda: ahahaaha.

Gato: then all we need is a boat.

Maya: oh I know just the gal or mammals.

...

(At the docks)

Nico: alright, so who was this person you were talking about.

Maya(pointing): over there.

Nico: oh.

Usami: oh hello Nico and crew. How are-

(Bernie pounces usami and starts chewing on her ears.)

Nico: Bernie, usami isn't a chew toy...I think.

Usami(crying): it hurts when you chew on my ear.

Nico: Bernie, drop it

Bernie: no

Nico(picking up usami): drop it!

Bernie: NO!

(Nico and Bernie play tug of war with usami for a bit until Bernie gets tired and lets go)

Usami(holding her chewed ear): owie.

Nico: sorry about that. Anyways can you sell us a ship.

Usami: I can give you a ship, but may I ask what it is for?

Nico: its um...

Maya: Nico wants to find dream island.

Usami: ohh that sounds lovely. Pretty please with a cherry on top, let me come with you.

Nico: I guess, if you want, then sure.

Usami: oh goodie gumdrops. Here, follow me, I'll show you the boat.

(Usami shows the group a white ship called: the s.s. LP. They enter the boat and look around.)

Nico: it's perfect.

Usami: I'm glad.

(Just as the group is getting cozy, moshirige jumps out from the water and onto the boat. Using his running moshirige powers, moshirige takes usami hostage with a knife)

Nico: oh no.

Moshirige: oh yes. Now surrender the map or the bunny gets it!

Nico: god damn it moshirige.

Maya: wait that's not a knife. It's a butter knife.

Usami: it's not even pointed in the right direction.

Moshirige: shut up, or...or I'll butter you to death.

Komaeda: just lower the butter knife you crazy little nugget.

Moshirige: no! I'm tired of always being the butt of the jokes. Day in and day out getting in more pain. Being beaten to a bloody pulp, blown up, betrayed by a monkey, crushed by a meteor, and eaten by a fucking t-Rex. I'm sick of it!

(Little does moshirige realize that usami escaped while he was monologuing. Nico nods to Gato prompting him to shoot moshirige with his laser beams)

Moshirige(flying through the air now): looks like moshirige is blasting off againnnnnn!

Nico: alright let's sail away.

Maya: actually I'm staying.

Nico: why?

Maya: I got yaoi to write, plus the fact that me and Bernie sound so similar is a big factor.

Bernie: makes sense to me.

Nico: alright, have fun with that.

Komaeda: now our ship can sail at last.

Usami: this will be so fun.

Gato: they're better be a coffee machine on this boat.

Bernie: and sticks.

Nico: onward to dream island!

...

(Later that night, moshirige crawled to a dimly lit door in the town. The door opens by itself and moshirige enters a room full of dogs and puppies. Moshirige walks to the center to see a man with flowing brown hair sitting in circle of Dalmatian puppies and stroking a Pomeranian)

To Be Continued


	2. The fog of damned voices

leon(petting his Pomeranian menacingly): What brings you to my den?

Moshirige: I'm here to make you an offer you can't refuse.

Leon(pulling out his gun blade): you have five seconds to explain yourself and make up for your poor attempt to quote that movie, otherwise I will kill you and feed your remains to the cats.

Moshirige: you mean dogs?

Leon(cocks gun): your remains aren't good enough for my puppies. Now proceed.

Moshirige(gulping before explaining his desire to go to dream island): Blah bla blah blah

Leon: I see, and what is in it for me?

Moshirige: imagine fields of puppies waiting to be frolicked in and the chance to add another puppy to your pack.

(Moshirige passes a photo to Leon. The Pomeranian jumps out of Leon's lap picks up the photo before taking it to Leon)

Leon(looking at the photo): I see, this will suffice.

Missile the Pomeranian (wagging his tail): she's pretty.

Moshirige (pushes his glasses up like a typical anime guy, before starting to snicker): nyhe...nyhe...nyanyanyahahaahaha!

(Leon knocks Moshirige out with the bare end of his gun blade)

...

(Back on the SS L.P., Nico looks out to the ocean horizon while Bernie sleeps in the captains room. Gato takes notice and joins Nico)

Gato: Look Nico, everything the light touches is the land of voices.

Nico: are you quoting line king.

Gato(ignoring nicos comment and continuing): A let's plays time of power rises and falls like the sun. When one lets play ends another begins, such is the circle of life.

Nico(pointing to a large mass of dark fog on the ocean): What about that shadowy place?

Gato: that is a place beyond love and sanity and unfortunately we have to sail through it.

Nico(pulling up the map): are you sure there's no way around it?

Gato: many sailors have tried only for the fog to sneak up on them and engulf them in its hell.

Nico: Geez, what even is it?

Gato: it is the fog of damned voices.

Nico(shivering): you don't think moshirige is in there?

Gato: no moshirige has a quirky and pitiful charm to him, but other voices aren't as fortunate.

Nico: I'm getting a little scared.

Gato: Keep your shit together and you will be fine.

Usami: alrighty everyone, we will be sailing through the fog, so keep all of your arms and legs inside the boat at all times.

(The boat sails directly into the fog causing everyone to be engulfed in DARKNESS)

Nico: aw crap, anybody got a light?

Gato (turning on his red visor): I got you covered.

Nagito: wait what's that up ahead?

(Everyone looks to see a ghostly figure wearing a deep sea diving helmet)

Nico (starting to feel dread deep in his balls): oh no.

(The boat gets closer to discover the figure is floating like a ghost. Without a word, the figure floats over to the boat)

Nico: oh god no, please no.

Nagito: what's wrong Nico?

Nico(running for the steering wheel) nope, nope, and nope. I am not going to go through this again.

Masked figure (muffled while trying to pull off the helmet): wheate

(The masked figure reveals themselves to be a girl with brown hair tied into pigtails by red ribbons)

Nico: ahhhh- wait who are you?

Girl: what how can you not remember naia?

Nico: wait something's coming to me. ...sh...shut up Naia

Naia: that's it.

Nico: it's been so long, like five years.

Naia: yep, but more importantly, Naia came to warn you of the Trio.

Nico: trio?

Naia(fading away): uh oh. They're here.

Komaeda: that seemed like an odd and pointless cameo that came out of nowhere, probably to pander to the old fans.

Usami: what?

Nico: wait, pointless cameos that add little to nothing to the overall plot and comes out of nowhere... Oh God No.

(Three laughters echo in the fog followed by three ghostly figures clothed to look like grim reapers)

Gato: who the hell are you three freaks?

(The figures lift their hoods to reveal themselves to be Old Bags, Larry, and Lana Hart)

Old bags: we are the trio and we have come to seek vengeance on you.

Nico: why do so many voices have it out for me?

Lana Hart: because you made our voices to be annoying and easy to ridicule.

Larry: yeah, what she said.

Nico: oh quiet being a suck up Larry. Besides, you three know very well how annoying you are.

Gato: you speak of vengeance, but how do you plan to enact it?

Old bag: oh you're a sexy boy aren't you. Maybe even sexier than my edgypoo.

Gato: back she-demon

Lana: anyway, we're going to kill you. Once we have destroyed you, then we will gain the power to change our voices.

Komaeda: ah, so that is your hope. To use Nico as a stepping stone to overcome the despair of having annoying voices.

Lana: well aren't you deranged and malnourished. If i had all my camera equipment I could take some good shots of you and make millions off of the profits.

Komaeda: yeah, my fan girls are a pretty good demographic for profit. Could you send the photos to haji?

Lana: and your into guys? Oh i am going to milk you for all your worth.

Nico: nobody is milking anyone.

Usami: we need to keep the ratings down for the good boys and girls.

Larry: oh my gosh, you sound like my drug dealer.

Usami: what?! That's preposterous! I would never make and sell drugs for a profit.

Nico: possible ships, fan girl exploitation, and Usami being a drug dealer aside. I will not die to the likes of you three.

Old bags: then we'll have to do it the hard way.

Horace(popping up out of nowhere): with a game of FRUIT BALL!

Usami: what is this fruit ball?

Nico: don't ask

Horace: well you see I have a whole bunch of comedically large FRUIT shaped like BALLS, so what better way to use them then as balls for a re-skin of SOCCER.

Gato: then shouldn't it be called soccer with fruit.

Horace: NO! It's called FRUIT BALL, damn it, FRUIT BALL!

Komaeda: Calm down crazy horse man, we'll play your game of soccer.

Horace: FRUIT BALL!

Nico: you know you're crazy when komaeda calls you crazy. Besides where could we even play fruit ball?

(Just as he says it, an arena forms in front of them)

Nico: shit, we're really doing this.

Larry: Yes and there is no way you can escape, unless a whale were to come out of nowhere and conveniently push you out of this fog. The chances of that happening are like a million to one.

Komaeda: please, don't insult my bullshit.

(Sure enough, thanks to some force a giant wave comes out of nowhere and hits the tiny boat at such an angle that it skips straight across the water and out of the fog)

Old bags: God Damn it Larry!

Larry: sorry.

...

(Outside the fog, the crew recovered from the rough landing, just in time for Bernie to wake up from her nap)

Bernie: Hey. What did I miss?

Gato: Bullshit.

Nico: well I guess we're headed to the next location.

Komaeda: not if the word count has anything to say about it.

Nico: What?

(To be continued...)


End file.
